A Day of Firsts

Yesterday was the day that I had been dreading for 6 weeks. My first day back to work! I have spent 24/7 with my little side kick and couldn't imagine anything different. Well reality kicked in yesterday and back to work it was. I didn't think that it would be so difficult. Just because it was a bit of the norm for me. My mom was a working mom and I went to a wonderful babysitter from the time that I was 6 weeks old till I was a teen (because I never wanted to leave... home was boring) I survived and learned things there that I probably never would have learned anywhere else. I wished that I could have taken Rayni to Helen but she no longer watches kids. She is still apart of my life and I joke with her telling her that she is going to just watch Rayni. I wanted Rayni to have the same experience that I did. Putting complete trust in someone to watch the very thing that means the most to me, next to my hubbie, is and was a scary thought to me. We were lucky and had some friends that had a great babysitter and suggested we go to her. I went and met her and felt very good! we set everything up so that Rayni would be going there monday-friday while I was at work. Well 6 weeks went by so fast and I did not feel prepared at all for what it was that I was heading for. The night before I was getting everyhting ready to go. I held Rayni before she went down and she was so happy and smily. Just her smile and giggles were making me cry. I didn't want to miss a minute of it. After I put her down and finished getting things ready I went to bed, but by the time my head hit the pillow I knew I would not be going to bed anytime soon. I had a billion things running through my head that included work things and Rayni things. About an hour later Rayni woke up to eat and I couldn't have been happier to get up with her. I wanted to hold her for as long as I could before I had to let her go the next day. I sat there and just stared at her and soaked in everything I could. Eventually I had to put her down and try to get some sleep myself.
The next mroning began at 5:40. I got ready before I had to get her up and ready. Got her up at 6 fed and dressed her. I then finished getting ready and ate and off we went. I had been holding in tears all morning and on the way there the eyes got teary. But they didn't flow till I handed her over. The sitter was so sweet. And I knew I had nothing to worry about. I would just miss that little thing to pieces. I cried all the way to work! It was silly. I kept watching the clock but surprisingly the day went by fast. at 3:50 I was in my car. I couldn't get there fast enough. When I walked in and saw her all cuddled up on the sitters lap I knew that she was happy and because she was happy I was happy. Our reunion was sweet and when we got home she was all smiles and full of chatter telling me all about her day. I was lucky to be able to have 6 uninterrupted weeks with my girl. And now I know that reality has to happen but she is safe and happy and that is all that matters!

A little girl's love for her Savior

I have been one of the lucky few that have grown up in the gospel, in a loving home, with a loving family, and loving parents with strong testimonies. Because I have had this growing up I have always known that the gospel is true. I have had several experiences in my life that have testified this to me and made it so that I cannot deny the gospel, my Savior, or My Heavenly Father. All of these experiences, as special and amazing as they were/are, probably could not compare to the experience I had yesterday morning with my sweet Rayni Lou.

We had some friends over the other night for dinner and I had some pictures that were sitting on some chairs that I had yet to hang up. I moved them into Rayni's room out of the way for the party. They were on the floor propped up on her cedar chest. Well yesterday morning I was changing her diaper on the floor. For most of the time she was looking at me and up at the ceiling. All the sudden she turned her head and was looking at one of those pictures. She started wiggling like crazy and had the biggest smile on her face. She started huming and cooing at the picture. I thought that she was just being silly. (This is a new thing for her to be doing... smiling and cooing) so I thought that she was just practicing. I was not aware of what it was that she was looking at till she started getting really excited. I looked over and this is what I saw.

Tears filled my eyes as I realized she was smiling at her Savior. It hasn't been that long that she has left her Savior's and Father in Heaven's arms. It is still clear in her mind where it is that she came from. She knows that she is a Daughter of her Heavenly Father and a sister to her brother and Savior.

She sat there for 20 minutes just staring, smiling, and cooing. Her attention never left the picture. I realized how special this moment was and one that I didn't want to forget. I hurried and grabbed my phone and shot a few shots of her talking to her Savior.

Because of the miracle she is we have always felt a special feeling when we are with her. Im sure like most parents do. We feel of the love that our Savior and Heavnly Father have for her. There have been times that she will be staring up at the ceiling and smiling and I say to her, "Who's up there. Are there angles up ther watching over you?... Is Grandpa Syd, Grandpa Stanley, and Grandpa Ed up there?" I know that there are angels watching over her and all of us everyday. How amazing it is to have this re-testified to me through the smiles of a little girl!

3 Nephi 17:23-24
And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones.
And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them.

The best 32 days of my life!

I can't believe it... my baby is 1 month old!!!! Like the title says it has been the best 32 days of my life, it has also been some of the hardest 32 days of my life too. But it is nothing that I would trade for anything in the world.



Just within the past couple of days we have noticed the biggest changes in Rayni Lou. She follows things with her eyes, She recognizes her surroundings, she has been smiling at us and her puppy:) She is starting to get cries for different things that she wants, and she loves play time.



We have always thought that Rayni has been smiling from the time that she was born. When Zach held her for the first time at the hospital he could have sworn that she smiled at him. But my mom said that it was just gas. There were other times that it really seemed like she was smiling at us and everyone said that it was just gas. Everytime someone said that I would say, "No... my girl knows how to smile!" When I was telling a friend of mine that took our pics about this she said, "I know I think that it is weird that gas would make a baby smile... it makes adults get a sour look on thier face and moan." I thought that that was so perfect. We still think that they were little smiles. But lately it has been very obvious that she is smiling at the people around her. She loves to lay on the floor by her puppy's bed and just stare and smile at him. She loves to lay on her blanket and play, smile at us while we play and sing with her. She also loves to wiggle her body when I sing "Our" song. It is so fun to see how much she is growing and responds to us.



Her other newest thing that she does is when she wakes up from her nap she sometimes does this fake cry. As soon as I walk in her room and she sees me she stops crying and her legs and arms start going a million miles an hour with excitement. And she gets the happiest look on her face. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it already... we are in trouble:)



She has gotten so big to Zach and I. She is starting to wear 3 month clothes. She can still wear NB they fit good around her middle. But seems to be close to being too short in the arms and legs. And the 3 month clothes are long enough in the arms and legs but big around her middle. So we go back and forth between sizes. It seems to be that one day she woke up and was bigger. I was thinking it all through the day and when Zach came home from work and picked her up he said to me that he thought she seemed bigger all the sudden today. Crazy how that is... and makes me sad. I don't want to blink because I might miss something with how fast time is flying by and how fast she is growing.



I am so grateful for getting the chance to feel this kind of love. You wouldn't believe that you could love something so much. I thank my Heavenly Father every day for giving me this chance to have this experience. I wouldn't be able to do it without his help. I pray for patience and help every day. This experience has helped me grow closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. It has helped me grow closer to my hubbie and it has given me the opportunity to feel the kind of love that our Father in Heaven has for us. So many great blessing that have come from this little angel. When she reads this years from now I want her to know how much she is loved by reading this post!



Here are some of my favorite pics that we have shot through out the month:


She loves eskimo kisses


And snuggles





She discovered her thumb and this is how she decided to suck on it... while grabbing her face.

Her favorite blankets are the minky ones or ones with the really really soft fabrics.

She loves being stylin:)

Another thumb sucking pic.


First pic of her smiling that we could catch on camera